Why Dwight Howard Actually Is Superman

Dwight Howard, man-child for the Orlando Magic, is the best center in the game right now.  Only Yao Ming and Shaq have a claim and considering Yao breaks more things than I do and Shaq is just a little old, Howard will do.  Recently, Dwight has taken to calling himself superman, a moniker an old Orlando center had before him (Shaq).  Many people are upset that Dwight Howard would just steel (see what I did there) the Man of Steel's name.  I am not upset because I believe that Dwight Howard might actually be Superman.

Evidence #1:  Both Superman and Dwight Howard came out of nowhere.

Superman fell to Earth after his home planet of Krypton was in trouble.  Dwight Howard rose from being a nobody in high school to being the number one overall pick.  Many experts argued that Emeka Okefor, the great player that his is(n't) should have been chosen first overall.  Many comic book nerds think that the Kents should have traded Superman for Spiderman or some other hero (the last fact may or may not be made up).

Evidence #2: Both have superpowers that a normal human being can only dream of.

Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.  Dwight Howard can dunk on 13' goals.  Superman can run as fast as a speeding train.  Dwight Howard, when motivated, is fast as crud.  Superman can shoot heat lasers out of his eyes.  Dwight can blind other players by flashing his ridiculously bright smile.  Superman has super-strength.  Dwight Howard is the biggest and most jacked player in the league.  Superman can withstand being shot by a bullet.  No one has shot Dwight, but don't be surprised if when he does, nothing happens.

Evidence #3: Both have really dumb weaknesses.

The only thing that can stop Superman is kryptonite.  The only thing that can stop Dwight Howard is not having deep post position.  If Dwight can develop any post game, look out. 

(Speaking of kryptonite, how stupid is that stuff.  It seems like just putting Superman near it weakens him.  Why don't his enemies just wait until they have a buttload of it to attack?  I mean clearly small pieces aren't working.  Another idea: inject Lois Lane with it.  Superman loves her too much to not be away from her.  Also, kryptonite bullets.  Two birds with one stone.)

Evidence #4: Both have civic duties.

Superman serves and protects Metropolis from anyone trying to harm the city and people he love.  Dwight Howard protects the post from all who try and enter.  Defensive play of the year he uses his super-strength to send things into the third row.

Clearly, Dwight and Superman are the same person.  I am on to you Dwight Howard.  You can't hide under your alter-ego anymore.